”Aaw.. look at you, so shy, You’ll come out of your shell one day. ”
”I beg your pardon? But I won’t! Why? Because I am not IN the shell, not at all!”
While some of the introverts are shy (so what?) many of us indeed, are not.
Just the fact that I don’t feel the need to start a conversation with the first human being, that comes across my way at the social gathering, it doesn’t mean I am shy. Introverts don’t start the small talk. It is boring and drains our energy.
It always happens to me! People, who don’t know me personally, perceive me as an exceptionally quiet and shy person. Very little, chosen few, know the real me, happy and chatty person, as I am. Well… as long as we talk about something meaningful. I so don’t care about what you had for dinner on Sunday, and how you made it… Sorry, don’t mean to be rude, but still, please just don’t bother.
I remember one awkward situation, on a work related social gathering. It was an evening + music + drinks kind of thing, with all employees of the entire company, I just started working with. I knew virtually nobody! They had a very strong policy about socializing and everybody was ‘friends’ with everyone in the company. As I was sitting by myself, enjoying the music, my ‘awkward, unacceptable behaviour’ could not go unnoticed (you can’t sit by yourself). Very soon, the people were approaching me with the phrase such as: ‘I hear that you are so and so, I am also’…. being sent to speak to me on account of ‘Ah, she has a white spot on her dress too, you should definitely speak to her.
My natural reaction to fake ‘small talk questions’ is yes/no or one word answer with no questions from my side. Sooner it’s over the better. And again, it doesn’t mean I am shy. In case you wonder how this ended…the next day early in the morning I was asked what was wrong with me last night and told:’We take a great pride in all our colleagues being one big family and…’
Since I needed the job, I wrote an email, stating that I was an introvert and what that means. Also, I explained that it doesn’t affect my work and so on… They were understanding and let me keep my job…
What are your experiences? Are you a shy introvert? How do you deal with small talk situations on social gatherings. Feel free to share your thoughts and Thanks for stopping by.